Sunday, March 27, 2016

DESIGNER DOGS - POPULAR DESIGNER DOG BREED JUST TWISTED SPINAL CORD ATTACHED TO COLLAPSED LUNG



NEW YORK - Growing quickly in popularity following its official recognition by the American Kennel Club last year, the Toy Whiffle—a floppy-eared collapsed lung loosely attached to a severely twisted spinal column—is now one of the most sought-after designer dog breeds in the country, according to an AKC survey published Thursday. “This hot new breed has everything pet lovers are looking for: the adorable teacup size; the cute little labored wheeze; the permanently prolapsed anus. When people see celebrities dragging them around on TV, it’s only natural they’d want one,” said Toy Whiffle Association president Daisy Macnamara, who noted that since the breed neither requires nor has the physical ability to exercise, it makes a great apartment dog. “You will need to take these dogs out at least twice a day for them to void the built-up fluids in their chest cavity. But given their lack of teeth or any musculature whatsoever, they’re extremely docile and great with children—provided, of course, the kids are gentle with the dogs’ super-cute, scrunched-up, and fully exposed intestines.” Macnamara urged prospective owners to be aware that the popular breed suffers from a number of hereditary health issues, including eyeball dysplasia, spontaneous bone liquification, and a shorter-than-average 19-day lifespan.

http://www.theonion.com/article/popular-designer-dog-breed-just-twisted-spinal-cor-52637


7 comments:

Anonymous said...

You do realized the onion is a fake news site.

Anonymous said...

WTF? LOL

Anonymous said...

Haha-
This aint't far off the mark. Stuck in a hotel room up in BC that's currently housing a bunch of 'dog fanciers' from the Canadian version of the AKC. What was one of the first pouches I ran across, but a French Bullie - a dog that reportedly cannot copulate without human assistance or deliver without caesarian section. But the rarity and the cost of puppies of this breed due to the difficulties producing them seem to have only increased its popularity.

People are weird.

Decatur AL livin nt to 4 pits said...

YEP!!! I DO REALIZE THAT.

Anonymous said...

LOL I love The Onion.

Sweetie Pie said...

So it's The Onion. So what? It's still pretty close to what these kennel clubs are doing in reality. In fact, if they could, I'm sure they'd really create a dog like this Toy Whiffle. If they could, they'd also cross a steel bear trap with some frankenmauler. The AKC would happily recognize this as a wonderful new family pet 'breed', 100% GUARANTEED to kill in its first five years (instead of only 96% chance), and that bullets bounce off of.

Romilda Gareth said...

Thanks